Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?
by The Black Flamingo101
Summary: Our favorite Junjou characters answer that timeless question in their own special ways. Rated for language.
1. Chapter 1

**So yeah, this is just me getting funny ideas in my head and vomiting them into words XD**

**Hope you get a good laugh (or at least a smile)  
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**TBF101  
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><p><strong>Question: Why did the chicken cross the road?<strong>

Misaki: Umm….well let me think about it…. Uhh….

Shinobu: What kind of a stupid question is this? The chicken crossed the road because it wanted to! It was fueled by passion and desire to conquer that which gave it purpose in life! And when the chicken first saw the road, it knew that they were destined to be together! And so the chicken began to strive hard to earn the love and respect of the road and the road finally saw it his way and they made romantically awesome love in a hotel room!

Misaki: ….Uh well…okay, I'm still thinking…

Nowaki: Oh Shinobu-kun! How romantic!

Hiroki: Bullshit more like it…

Nowaki: Hiro-san you shouldn't say that! Okay, how would you answer the question?

Hiroki: *rolls eyes * It's fucking easy Nowaki! The chicken and the road are obviously a metaphor for mankind overcoming the obstacles they face in life, be it physical, social, psychological, financially, or emotionally! Even an idiot could see that!

Nowaki: So then Hiro-san…did you cross your own road?

Hiroki: Er—well….I…guess…

Nowaki: My turn! I was a chicken and I crossed a road, and I found Hiro-san on a park bench on the other side. And it was the best day of my life. I love you so much.

Hiroki: MORON! Don't say shit like that in public!

Shinobu:…and he called mine bullshit. Riiight… Miyagi! Get your ass over here and do yours!

Miyagi: Ahem. Once upon a time there was a chicken and a road, and the road loved the chicken. But one day the chicken died tragically of illness caused by being hit by a truck. The road was sad, but he learned to be alone. Then one day a tiny little fluff ball of a chicken came to the road and demanded that the road love him. After much strife, the road finally consented and loved the chicken back. The two became very happy together. And the chicken celebrated this by cooking a batch of cabbage that sent the poor road's digestive system all the merry way to the hospital—

Shinobu: MIYAGI YOU JERK! I HATE YOU!

Miyagi: I love you too chicken.

Shinobu: SHUT UP!

Nowaki: Misaki-kun? Have you figured out your answer yet?

Misaki: Umm…not yet…er Usagi! You go.

Akihiko: There once was a chicken who grew up in complete isolation.

—Hiroki: oh god…this should be something—

Akihiko: His parents were mentally unstable and they beat him frequently, so much so that the chicken closed himself off from the world, thinking that he could never be worthy of anyone's love. He grew up abused and afraid, and never had a kind word spoken to him. One day he came to a concrete road that led towards the beautiful rising sun. The chicken glanced one time over his shoulder, and then said "I'm already dead inside. What does it matter if I let my body die somewhere in the distance?" And so the chicken crossed the road, his weary feet scraping the ground as he left his past behind him.

Misaki: Usagi-san…that's so sad! Are—Are you okay?

Hiroki: Nowaki get off me!

Nowaki: But Hiro-san, I never wanna let you go. I'll make you feel loved till the day I die!

Hiroki: Stop crying Nowaki! It's just some bullcrap he came up with on a whim!

Akihiko: Hey. I'm not finished.

Misaki: Oh sorry Usagi-san. Please continue.

Akihiko: Gladly. So after that fateful day when he crossed the road, the chicken grew up on his own and gained self-confidence, but inside he was still afraid that no one could love him. He began to write book on his crossing of the road, and was shocked to discover his fame develop practically overnight! And one special day, the chicken made a startling discovery…that he was actually a rooster.

Misaki:…huh?

Akihiko: And this rooster had a mighty fine appetite for other roosters, especially little cute ones that crowed whenever they were touched. And so this big rooster took his little rooster to their living room couch and they made rooster sex alllll afternooooon and the little rooster looked so darn sexy that the big rooster began to write books about other big roosters banging the life out of little roosters and was very shocked to discover that his fame spread even more! And tonight this big rooster is going to fuck his little rooster in the kitchen and the bathroom and the hallway and—

Misaki: OH MY GOD STOOOOPPP! STOOPPPP!

Nowaki: Good lord!

Hiroki:…Oh gross Akihiko.

Miyagi: No kidding.

Shinobu: Hmph. You're just jealous that you couldn't come up with a better one.

Miyagi: What! Am not!

Akihiko: So Misaki, wanna act out of the story of the big rooster tonight?

Misaki: GET BENT! I'M LEAVING!

Akihiko: Where are you going Misaki?

Misaki: Across the street to get away from you! I don't care if I can't answer the question!

All:…..

Shinobu: You know, that kid's not too bright.

Miyagi: Speak for yourself little rooster.


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you all for your incredible feedback!

A Sekai Ichi Hatsukoi edition of this has been written and is on my page :) Be sure to check it out and have a good laugh.

Love,

TBF101


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